Today I beat my drinking demon to a pulp. I fought my illness good and hard on the wrestling mat. It was a terrifying match. I finished bloody, messy and exhausted…but I won. Against all odds, I won. What this means is that in the middle of an otherwise ordinary workday, smack in the middle of solid months of sobriety, I suffered from a very acute and sudden craving to drink; to sit in a bar and just…DRINK. I call this a Deep Craving Episode. It is powerful and real and hard as hell to go through. And today, it almost took me down. Almost. It happened suddenly. I wanted to drink. Hard. I ached for the sharp hit of alcohol sliding down my throat. I yearned for the rays of sunlight traveling d
And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.